In five days

There is no real ending. It’s just the place where to stop the story — Frank Herbert

In five days, I will be free to give my undivided attention to writing/finishing my novel. To play with my characters. To play with my boys. To create the place where to stop the story. And I know where I want it to stop.

Granted, I did steal a couple of weekends during the past month to have some pure unadulterated creative bliss with my boys. But once you start playing and getting your hands,  feet (and everything else in between) dirty, you never want it to end.

And maybe these posts might actually get longer again. I still have something tinkering around in my head about holy trinities that I like to prattle on about eventually. When I talk holy trinities, I’m not talking about the religious kind. I’m talking about the creative kind. I’ll save that one for later when my brain isn’t in a million different places at once.

I’m also hoping that the goddamn stupid cold I picked up from god knows who will be gone by the end of this week. So far, it looks promising. Need my brain firing on all synapses to finish the novel. Whenever that happens.

And once the cold is gone, I can go back to my CrossFit workouts. Usually, I could power through a workout. You know, sweat it out at a slower pace or as much as my body is willing to tolerate. Well, this time I had to cut back a bit just because this hasn’t been the typical cold I’ve been accustomed to. Must be a badass virus. Or just an oddball virus. For me, that is. It wasn’t bad enough for me to call in sick but I had my moments. But, isn’t that what Tylenol is for? I’m not getting paid to say that brand, by the way. I have my reasons for not using ASA.

Let’s see what else is going on… oh yeah, movie night with a girlfriend tonight. She’s coming over with dessert. Or chocolate. And I’m making dinner. But of course, I keep forgetting to include some form of greens/vegetables into the meal. Does tomato sauce count? I think tomatoes are actually considered a fruit, so maybe not. I’ll figure something out.

Anyway, it’s an opportunity to unplug and be present with a friend. And stare starry-eyed at some beautiful men, too.

Chipping away

Work is hard. Distractions are plentiful. And time is short — Adam Hochschild

It never fails that when you get your mojo going, something happens to disrupt the flow you’ve created. Yep, all good things must come to an end. Yeah, well… fuck that.

Distractions, especially the kind that are not self-inflicted, are annoying as fuck. As a season, I like spring. Autumn is actually my favourite season but I don’t mind spring at all. It’s getting to the point where all that spring reminds me of, are the annual commitments that I’m starting to dread.

Honestly, something has to give. I’ve been down this road before. And I pretty much know what will give. I almost considered foregoing a blog this week because there are more pressing matters I want to spend my time working on. That isn’t fair to the folks who take the time to actually read whatever my brain farts out. The blog isn’t the problem.

I’m just gnawing at the figurative restraints that keep me from my creative endeavours. I’m probably a little frustrated knowing that I’m close to finishing my next novel but there are things that keep demanding my time and attention. My equilibrium is off I absolutely hate it. I might get a little petulant and bitchy (I’ll try to avoid feeling homicidal) until the commitments are a distant memory. To be honest, I’d like them to be a distant memory now.

But I just need to be patient and keep chipping away at my writing. There will be no regrets when it’s done.

A path to follow

I mean, artistic processes are all about making choices all the time, and the very act of making a choice is the distilling down and the getting to the core of what it is that you care about and what you want to say, really — Mike Leigh

The past couple of weeks has been a little harried. Harried in the sense that life has gotten in the way of writing. Didn’t write for eight days straight. What the fuck. Got back to writing last Thursday. I told myself I was setting aside that day to play with my boys, then I would get back to life.

Well, that was a big fat lie.

Played with my boys until yesterday night. I wouldn’t call it a lost weekend but it’s the closest thing to a lost weekend. I have one planned for April. Part of that weekend will be spent with my boys but what I will be doing during the rest of the time, will affect the three of us in the long run.

The four days of writing was a much-needed creative release. It also moved me a little closer to the goal of completing the first draft near the end of May, beginning of June. I strongly believe I can make that self-imposed deadline… as long as life doesn’t get in the way… which is what life is doing right now.

For a number of years, I called this time of year the busy season. After this busy season, changes will be afoot so that next year, I won’t have to suffer through long stretches away from writing. Some folks will be disappointed in the changes but I have to protect and nurture what is important to me.

I’m approaching a crossroads. I’ve seen it coming for awhile. And I know which path I have to travel. There is work to do. And I can’t wait for it to begin.