In five days

There is no real ending. It’s just the place where to stop the story — Frank Herbert

In five days, I will be free to give my undivided attention to writing/finishing my novel. To play with my characters. To play with my boys. To create the place where to stop the story. And I know where I want it to stop.

Granted, I did steal a couple of weekends during the past month to have some pure unadulterated creative bliss with my boys. But once you start playing and getting your hands,  feet (and everything else in between) dirty, you never want it to end.

And maybe these posts might actually get longer again. I still have something tinkering around in my head about holy trinities that I like to prattle on about eventually. When I talk holy trinities, I’m not talking about the religious kind. I’m talking about the creative kind. I’ll save that one for later when my brain isn’t in a million different places at once.

I’m also hoping that the goddamn stupid cold I picked up from god knows who will be gone by the end of this week. So far, it looks promising. Need my brain firing on all synapses to finish the novel. Whenever that happens.

And once the cold is gone, I can go back to my CrossFit workouts. Usually, I could power through a workout. You know, sweat it out at a slower pace or as much as my body is willing to tolerate. Well, this time I had to cut back a bit just because this hasn’t been the typical cold I’ve been accustomed to. Must be a badass virus. Or just an oddball virus. For me, that is. It wasn’t bad enough for me to call in sick but I had my moments. But, isn’t that what Tylenol is for? I’m not getting paid to say that brand, by the way. I have my reasons for not using ASA.

Let’s see what else is going on… oh yeah, movie night with a girlfriend tonight. She’s coming over with dessert. Or chocolate. And I’m making dinner. But of course, I keep forgetting to include some form of greens/vegetables into the meal. Does tomato sauce count? I think tomatoes are actually considered a fruit, so maybe not. I’ll figure something out.

Anyway, it’s an opportunity to unplug and be present with a friend. And stare starry-eyed at some beautiful men, too.

Feels like home

When someone shows their appreciation for you, it’s always heart-warming.

This past weekend amplified that sentiment. The sentiment came from two people, both whom I’ve know for less than a year. Both, with whom I’ve become fast friends. So natural. So frighteningly easy. The only other people with whom I became fast friends and long-time confidantes are my best friend, Ali and another woman, who I affectionately refer to my sister. My ‘sister’ shall remain nameless unless she reads this blog and decides it’s fine to refer to her by her name.

The first person who showered me with appreciation and big love was local birth photographer, Elliana Gilbert. I interviewed her for the Winnipeg Free Press and it appeared in the Saturday print edition and online over the weekend. She was floored by the coverage we gave her and the birthing community noticed what the paper had done in shining a light on her, and therefore the subject of birthing. She is a talented photographer with a huge heart and a strong sense of what is right and what is worth fighting for. You gotta admire that in a person. It was this great big dive into the mutual admiration society.

I’m not one for receiving or accepting compliments in a gracious manner because I’m never quite sure that what I’ve done garners that kind of attention. But, I am one to shower compliments to someone who thoroughly deserves it. I don’t throw compliments around like confetti. I can be a pretty discerning confetti thrower. Yeah, I was throwing confetti at her. Lots of confetti.

She throws it back pretty good, too, I gotta admit. I think I’ve managed to brush most of it out of my hair.

The second person to show their appreciation to me was my technical advisor for the current novel I’m working on. I’m still refusing to name him. And it’s probably going to stay that way. He read the interview I did with Elliana and sent me an email telling me how much he enjoyed reading it. And that led him to confessing how much he loves working with me, tossing out additional compliments I wasn’t expecting and telling me how honoured he was that I would seek him out for his help with some of the finer details in the novel.

Damned fool made me blush. It’s not easy to do to me. But he did it.

To be honest, I’m the one who is honoured that he would be willing to answer the questions I have. I’m honoured that he would share some of his time with me and impart some of his knowledge onto me and into my characters and my storytelling. It’s gracious and generous.

As a result, he is offering me more opportunities to learn from him and expand my knowledge base in his area of expertise. It is beyond cool and awesome. I cannot be more grateful to have this person in my life.

Does it sound kinda like a mutual admiration society thing going on here? Yeah, I thought so. Experiencing this kind of love from other creative folks is weird, but in a good way. Love from non-creatives is just different. It’s something I don’t care to seek out because it doesn’t feel easy or right. It’s sort of intuitive… the choice to be comfortable or not.

Being in the company of other creative minds, who also happen to share similar values and sensibilities, feels like home. It feels safe. It’s safe to be unguarded, honest and raw. It’s safe to be inspired and to grow from those associations and friendships. That’s nourishing for the soul. Well, for my soul, it is. Can’t speak for anyone else.

I have so much love and gratitude for the people who light the fire in me, who keep that fire burning and who inspire me to ask more of myself with whatever I endeavour to take on.

I couldn’t possibly ask for anything more than that.

One foot on the ground

I make sure I always surround myself with good, down to earth, fun, real people, who always keep me grounded — Sean Kingston

I’ve never considered myself a social butterfly nor do I think I’ve ever behaved that way for a specific period during my life. I’m definitely not a Chatty Cathy.

But I do appreciate the gregarious natures exhibited in a good chunk of my friends. Thankfully, none of them are Chatty Cathys. The fact that anybody can run their mouths off like there’s no tomorrow is astonishing and physically and mentally fatiguing to those who have to listen to them.

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve been reminded of the importance of friends who I hold close to my heart and whose presence in my life are good for my soul. It wasn’t the kind of reminder that screams from the tallest building for anyone and everyone to hear. It was the kind of reminder that calmly comes up behind me and places its hand on my shoulder to remind me I can lean on them. No drama. No showboating. Just a quiet strength I can use when I need to call on it.

I’ve never understood why a person would want scads and scads of friends. Maybe it’s a different kind of hoarding. I think part of it is based on the personality they possess. Some people are good at maintaining a huge swath of friends.

For someone like me, maintaining a huge swath of friends seems like a lot of work. I’m happy with the people I have in my life. It took me a good chunk of my twenties to figure out what I wanted out of life and who were worth keeping as friends as I went through the process.

Turns out I’m still shedding and refining the relationships I want to keep today. And I’m still figuring out what I want out of life. I think I’ll always be hungry for more out of my life.

This shedding and refining is a continuous process. I’d like to think that the friends I have now will be the ones I have 10 to 25 years from now. But I also understand the fluidity of life. I hope the people I am closest to and cherish their friendship the most will continue to be in my life for a long time to come. As for the rest, the fluidity of life dictates that change is constant. Therefore, I’m fine with relationships that ultimately have a limited shelf life. As long as the relationships were positive and nurturing during its existence, I’ll consider myself lucky for having known those people during that time. Anything less than that, well… I’ll consider myself lucky that it’s over.

The friends I cherish the most are the ones who keep me grounded so I can soar. They make me happy. I am blessed. I am lucky. I am ready to soar.