Holy crap, we’re halfway through February already. That just means I’m three weeks away from finishing that pain-in-my-ass project and I can focus on the things I want to work on and play with.
You don’t even want to know what the beginning of last looked liked for me. Trying to balance life and your heart’s creative desires has been, at times, a horrible tug-of-war. I was ready to go homicidal. Then my period showed up. Well, that would be explain the intense homicidal leanings. But it doesn’t explain away the fact I was still having a horrible tug-of-war.
As I write this, I’m taking myself away from my heart’s creative desires. Yeah, that won’t do for long. I’ll probably be less homicidal next month. Until then, what do I do to deal with the tug-of-war? I take on more fun stuff related to writing. I can’t really what my plans are but rest assured, it’s my way of digging in my heels and setting the foundation for the writing life I want. And that means letting go of commitments I don’t want to carry anymore and taking on commitments I want while scaring myself creatively at the same time.
I haven’t gotten to the point where I’ll ask myself ‘what the fuck am I doing?’ I’m at the point where I’m going ‘well, why the fuck not?’ It’s a notorious attitude that has given me some of my most memorable moments. I must be in memorable moment mode. Quite honestly, I’m happy to be in that frame of mind where I’m pursuing things that excite me as a creator.
Aside from the writing, after a little over ten years, I’m going to have a fur baby in the home again. A lovely 2-1/2 year old cat. She’s not here yet but the adoption papers were signed yesterday afternoon at the shelter. She needs her vet check before she can be released. So with any luck, I’ll pick her up Tuesday afternoon after the vet sees her and gives her the green light.
It’s taken me a long time to screw up enough nerve to have another furball running around the home. I won’t ever discuss my reasons here because it’s intensely personal. I must be ready if I signed the papers.
I’m excited for her to be part of my life and to be a part of hers.