Hopelessly obsessed

Sensory overload: When the brain and nervous system is bombarded with too much sensory input from one of more sensory systems and is unable to process and sort out the incoming sensory messages.

I run the gamut of being either under-stimulated or over-stimulated. Sometimes, I’m somewhere in between. Sometimes, I hit the perfect balance. Most of the time, I’m moving from one extreme to the other. That’s always fun. Well, not really.

Last week, I had been running on over-stimulated where my writing is concerned. Everything else in my life has been running on passable. I’ve written more in the last two weeks than I have in the last eight months. I wish I could say I was churning page after page of really great shit. I would have to ask my writing mentor’s opinion on that. I wish I could say I’m almost finished writing the story of my boys. But it’s a bit of a dream at the moment. One that I aim to have come true.

Maybe you’re wondering what’s gotten me so damned over-stimulated. Well, you can blame Game of Thrones. I’m referring to the music that Ramin Djawadi created for season 7. There is this new theme/leitmotif he created specifically for the relationship between Daeneryes and Jon Snow. And damn it, it is so fucking beautiful to my ears. I love how he layers that theme with other themes. I love how he layers themes, Period. He did that with the music for Person of Interest and that is a skill I admire. Anyway, I downloaded the GoT season 7 soundtrack from iTunes on the Friday before the season finale and I have not stopped playing it. Then I came across this lovely video you see below. He talks about creating the score, themes, the process and what inspires him when he is creating the music for the show:

I already had heart eyes for the man because his musical and compositional skills are so on point. His work inspires me. But after watching the video, my heart eyes got bigger than I thought was possible. When he was talking about his writing process, I absolutely understood what he was talking about. I just got so damned excited listening to a kindred spirit.

The important thing is that I’m writing and I’m hopelessly obsessed with the story right now. I spent a chunk of the weekend writing and watching what my characters would do for their next move. And I couldn’t be happier. This is what I’ve been fighting for. This is what my boys have been fighting for. Time together to fuck shit up.

Yeah, at some point I’ll need to do laundry because it’s piling up and all my bath towels are waiting to get tossed into the washing machine. Guaranteed three, maybe four, loads of laundry.

Then there’s the business of watching the third season of Narcos on Netflix. You know things are good when you have to decide between writing and having fun with your characters or watching one of your favourite streaming programs. So far, the writing is winning. I’ll get to Narcos eventually. Maybe today will be the day.

Maybe I should just flip a coin.

Save the forty winks for later

If your writing doesn’t keep you up at night, it won’t keep anyone else up either — James M. Cain

When I work on a writing project, I tend to stay up longer than I should and bear the effects of not enough sleep. But then, I’m a night owl, so I’m not entirely sure my writing is really the reason I stay up at night.

Why do I stay up longer than I should instead of getting my forty winks? Well, for starters, there is the night owl factor that is impossible to ignore or be dismissive about. And my brain tends to get its second wind after midnight whether I want it to or not.

There have been numerous stories and discussions, online and elsewhere, regarding what time of day writers and artists work on their craft. There are early morning folks who get up before the rest of the household wakes up to spend an hour or two doing their thing before life demands their attention.

There are those who write in the late evening after dinner and the kids and spouse have toddled off to bed. There are those who don’t start writing until after midnight where the creative embers don’t start burning at their brightest until 2am.

I am clearly in the late night category. However, I also will write any time during the day. I steal moments whenever I can. 15-30 minutes here and there. A part of my brain is always with the story, always with my characters, always with my boys. My writing doesn’t just keep me up at night. It’s with me every waking moment, too.

I have yet to be told by some well-meaning person that maybe I need to be more structured with my writing time. You know how this is going to end, right? If anybody does make a suggestion that I be more disciplined about the whole process, I will tell them to go fuck themselves with a lubed up big black dildo. And I’ll say that with a smile on my face.

Anyway, the time I spend working on my writing project has been steadily increasing in the past week. And I’m enjoying it. It’s grounding for me. It means life is settling back to a rhythm that would be optimal for writing. And that would still include staying up until two or three in the morning since that is never going to change.

All of this is a welcome change.

Time to take a deep breath and immerse myself again.

Stealing moments

There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they’ll take you — Beatrix Potter

I don’t know about using ‘delicious’ to describe writing the first words of a story. It’s not the first word the comes to mind but it is very appropriate. Personally, I think of ‘excited’ and ‘eager’.

There are other words or phrases that incorporate the word ‘fuck’, too. Examples of this are: I’m fucking excited; I can’t fucking wait to get to the keyboard and start writing; why can’t everybody leave me the fuck alone so I can write. You catch my drift?

Writing the first words are not just the only things that are delicious in the process of writing. Aside from coming up with the characters and developing their personalities, putting two or more characters together for the first time and watching the sparks fly — for all the right and/or wrong reasons — is absolutely exciting and intoxicating. These meetings are worth more than beer and popcorn. Depending on what is happening, you either don a hazmat suit or a wet suit and have a bottle of mezcal and a plate of chilaquiles for snacking purposes. Whatever you wear and whatever you dine on, it all equals fun times.

Would I describe it as a high? Yes. It’s a better high than smoking pot or eating ‘brownies’. You avoid the after-effects which includes having the munchies. The creative part of the brain gets all lit up and you’re ready to take on the world or, at least, take on your characters’ world. You just want to go in there and fuck things up because the characters are planning to do exactly that… fuck things up. You know what that means… all hell is going to break lose. ¡Maldito derecho! Think I said that correctly.

Something else that is delicious is writing the first words each of your characters utters in the story. It is the first real introduction of the characters to the reader. It’s not just a physical description of that character which is also important because it’s one of the layers for building and creating a character. A character’s first words is another layer. It sets the tone and offers a first glimpse into who that person is and what their story might be.

I have fun writing dialogue. I know there are folks out there who have a hell of a time writing dialogue. It’s always fun opening a character’s mouth and hearing what words go flying out of it. I don’t know why but I find writing dialogue way too much fun. Writing dialogue can be delicious. Writing certain scenes can be delicious, too. But I won’t go there right now.

With all these things that makes writing so appealing to me, it’s a wonder I haven’t dropped everything to just simply write. But living in a world where money is required in assisting you in having a roof over your head and food on the table, kind of gets in the way of dropping everything to do the one thing you feel passionate. Ok, you can argue that there may be more than one thing you are passionate about. I’m just simplifying.

Once again, life has temporarily gotten in the way of letting me dive completely into my characters’ world. However, I’ve gotten better or sneakier about being a stone’s throw away from that world. Now, stealing moments with my boys is more of an expectation rather than an exception. In moments where there is nothing but me and the music playlist either occupying the quiet or chasing away the noise, in the moments before I go to sleep, my boys come for me and we enter the world the three of us are creating together. We talk while we are on the move. There is much to do, much to sort out, much to show.

When life gets in the way, trips to that world are not as frequent. And wanderlust builds up. My boys get antsy, I get antsy. In the moments we steal, we do what we can before I have to leave them again. And they’re getting better about not pouting and behaving petulantly. Thank god for small mercies.

The moments we steal are precious. Words hit the page and the adventure continues. I know where my boys will be at the end of the story. But it’s their unfolding journey to get to their destination is what excites me. How do they get from point A to point B? If I or the boys change a seemingly small detail, how does that alter their journey? What if I change the role of another character — how will it affect my boys? These are things I’ve already done and they are for the better. The subtle and not-so-subtle changes mean nothing but fun for everyone involved. When it’s fun, nobody wants to leave. Even when it’s not fun, nobody wants to leave. That’s why when life interferes, it sucks being dragged away.

Fortunately, there is another week of life’s interference and then, my boys and I will have more quality time together.

But for now, we are satisfied with stealing moments to be with each other.