Here goes nothing

Times of transition are strenuous, but I love them. They are an opportunity to purge, rethink priorities, and be intentional about new habits. We can make our new normal any way we want — Kristin Armstrong

In a recent post, I rattled off about the concept of doing everything, how messy doing everything can get, and how great messy can be if you don’t let it run you over.

Well, messy just got real. Messy officially kicked off last week. It’s exciting in a masochistic way and a little daunting.

Without getting into specifics, all I can say is the latest additions to my responsibilities are things I’ve done before. But they were things that had never been a part of my day job. These things, these experiences were earned through other parts of my life via past jobs, volunteerism and the joys being part of a particular community. To incorporate those experiences into my day job is something I had not anticipated on happening.

Quite frankly, I was happy to just keep them separate. Guess that’s not happening now. And based on early reactions I’ve received, there are folks who are thrilled about my evolving job. Yeah, things are going to get messy.

I will admit to being a little nervous about the new responsibilities. The handful of folks who do know about the role I will be taking on, are thrilled. They seem ready to give me the support I need and are confident that I can pull it off. Oh, boy. I have jokingly mentioned that I haven’t done anything yet, therefore there is an outside chance I might screw this up.

They laugh and tell me it’s not going to happen. Such faith.

This transition means I must be vigilant in keeping my writing life from taking a backseat to life. Fortunately, I have been finding myself more in the company of my fictional characters, my boys, when I’m away from work. Without much thought, it looks like I am turning to them to maintain the sense of groundedness and balance. I’m ironing out the details of the third act of the novel. I’m close to picking up where I left off. I’m this close to resuming the narrative of my boys’ stories. I want and need to play with them again. And the prospect of that feels better than awesome. It feels like home.

I think being at ‘home’ for a couple of hours a day would be a good start. Once I resume tapping on the keyboard again, those couple of hours will probably extend to four hours or longer, depending if it’s my day off and I get all my chores and errands squared away as quickly as possible. I’m really looking forward to it.

Not sure if I can say the same for my new responsibilities. It’s good to be a little nervous, right? It means you don’t want to royally fuck it up. Right? Anyway, I think it’s all in the preparation, prioritization and organization. So is taking a deep breath and taking that first step.

Here goes nothing.

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